In One Year...

I would like to be financially independent.  I am so much indebted to all the people who believe in me. There are many. Unfortunately, Uncle Sam isn't one of them.

The government system is breaking down. There are many things that the government just cannot do or control. Climate change is one of them. Wars, killings, and economic instability.  Children going without proper education and food. The world seems out of control. What can the government do?

I do not have the answers to that question. I only have faith and hope and a passion to become more than the government's dependent. 

My past is not going to determine my future. Enough is enough, and I am the only one who can change my circumstances. I have come this far and I do not believe for one second that it is the end. Only a new beginning. Like a birth, the world is being reborn whether we choose to see it that way or not. 

Each of us is a miracle. We all have every trait ever known to mankind. There is a balance in this seeming chaos, and science is proving it. There will always be more. Perhaps not in the form we are used to or expect, but something beyond our finite selves or perhaps all the particles of our finite and infinite selves in unity will overcome. 

My experiences on the internet have led to this viewpoint. There are many who are paying attention and not losing hope, but waking up and taking action. I want to be an action taker. I have seen enough of my own dismal life, how I got here, and want to make it better. I do not want to sit here spinning my wheels in the mud. I am worth more than that and I know it.

How to get from point A to point B? Relinquish control and go with the flow.
Follow my passions, my dreams, and utilize the intelligence I possess. That is not enough. There is so much more. All my studies of religion, spirituality, Indianology and other philosohies have led me to one conclusion: We are all ONE. I do not care if you are in China, India, the Philipines, the United States, or any other part of this earth, I am connected to you and you are connected to me.

"I am the same in essence, though different in circumstance as all others, and it is only or primarily my heirarchy of values that determines this" 
Dr. John F. Demartini

Think about that statement and let it sink in. I have been pondering my existence since I was six years of age. I remember looking at a chair at age two and knowing it wasn't really a chair. I didn't know or have the words for what it was, but I knew it wasn't really a chair.

Remembering the science fiction movies I watched as a child, some of those ideas then are becoming realities to me today. My imagination is a wonderful gift. I am working hard at reclaiming it. The power of creation lies in our mind and I have always known this somewhere deep inside my self. I believed in mental telepathy before I knew those words. I believed in the power of the mind before I understood I had one.

I have seen my own mind manifest people and occurrences that there isn't a logical explanation for. I was born with this mind and it needs further training and discipline. Thank goodness my first grade teacher did not scar me too badly when she said "Do you really believe your daddy is on the moon?" in a very scolding, condescending tone. He had died of cancer and I was drawing a picture of the moon, so I put him there. Adult logic and authority! Bah, humbug! Of course I'd rather live in my own world with my own characters than be hemmed into what would shut me down! It was a matter of self-preservation!

Well, I'm not a child anymore and the "presence" I felt then has not gone anywhere. Today, I have a different understanding, I call it by a different name and there is a different form.  Today I know enough to trust it and let it be my friend. To just BE.

Emotional turmoil I know too well. A lot of progress in this area has been made. I may have taken it too far though when I shut it all out in an effort to live in a very volatile and hostile environment while growing up. Of course my hero was Mr. Spock. He taught me well and it took a long time to break the illusion I had created. Protection from the fear and all the ugliness of my parents' life was wrapped up in my worship of that stoic personality. The battle became too much. Too much discipline for an untrained child and too much rebellion building up to balance it. So, I broke every rule he ever put into my head! Then at some point I simply had to break away from this seeming madness. It was like losing the best friend I ever had. To try to outgrow and say goodbye to my fantasy world characters. 

Heaven knows how the characters felt! I guess that part of my "special education" was over. Until...

I got online. I learned a new way of building a dream. I learned again to trust the teachers and the wisdom and knowledge available. I started reclaiming that "possibility" side of myself. I started to see I could believe, that it was necessary to believe, and that I am worthy! I could watch videos and get snippets of truths that had long lay dormant in me. I immediately recognized them-they fairly shouted at me from the computer! I started soaking them up like a starved person. Then, things would appear, or someone would say something, or a movie would be on, or some other unexplainable thing would occur. I started to feel life rushing back into my barren landscape. This was home to me and every atom in my being wanted more.

I have followed this path since the days of Success University and I have thought about what I have actually incorporated into myself. So now it is time for the real work of daily application. I have had time to read and get reacquainted. Now the work of devotion and sacrifice is necessary. How do I do this? I, of myself cannot discipline my mercurial make-up. I tried that already and what a nightmare that was! I cannot keep walking in the same tired circle. I want to lift that foot and be free! The chain is an illusion and I know that. The house I live in however, how can I leave my playground? Yes, the house I left my characters behind in. No, it is not the same house today. I realized that it will not ever be the home I grew up in again. But I have fought, cried, drank and prayed to be here! Where else could I ever collect all those lost pieces that I needed? Now it is a weight I carry. I do not wish to relinquish the value of this property. I do not believe it can be replaced. I want it to be improved and I do not have the money to make those necessary improvements. 

So I turn to the internet to become financially free and independent. In one year I am going to get the tools and learn the skills necessary to produce a profit that will benefit me, my family, my community, my state, my country, and the world.

A bold statement from one who boldly goes wherever the song takes her.
So sing a new song and be joyful unto whatever Lord there is!